I have realised that we hesitate to speak during conference
calls. We are teachers and we are used to speaking and dancing in front of our
students but when we become students, suddenly we turn to silence.
…..silence…..
I decided to take a look behind 'the silence'. I observed my
experiences and feelings in order to understand why I become so shy.
When I read Adesola’s blog, I became very excited about the
topic: ’The role of women in acting’. I could prepare myself and I combined
that with the topic which I was supposed to speak on before, choreography
contra technique in teaching.
At the beginning of the conversation I felt myself prepared
but a bit frustrated because of my speech. I am not good at public speaking
even in my native language but speaking in English can make expressing myself more
difficult.
…silence…
I felt so embarrassed during the silence. It was so frustrating,
for example, like being in front of the judge during an examination. I felt
that every second made me feel worse and worse….
….silence….
I felt that I had to do something even if I could not react
to the topic, that was before me. I started to speak about my topic and after a
while I felt myself feeling better and better. It freed me and made me feel safe
and confident which I did not feel before. Every sentence that I said was like a
sequence of movements in a dance. I could not stop, because it was so good. I
opened up and the reactions from the others made this feeling stronger. I have
realised that everybody became more confortable in the conversation and this
was the break-through in the chat, for all of us.
I think that the hindering factor is that when we are unsure
about what is going to happen, we position ourselves like a student who is
entering a new class and takes a place in the last row. According to Magda Kay
the writer of the article: 12 ways to
build confidence, "the reason for it is that we don’t want attention on us". (Kay, 2014)
This hidden position can give the feeling that ’I am in safety’ but this is
just an illusion, an insecure reaction, it is obvious we can not hide ourself.
We should look for positive feelings and be confident instead of creating the
illusion of being safe.
A challanging situation can positively affect us, if we give
ourselves small goals. Magda Kay also explained that small goals give the feeling
of success and this provides self-confidence for us. I have to mention that
this also can create an enjoyable athmosphere for everybody, even if we do not
know each other.
I think that it is a good experience to discover ourselves and
to get to know each other. We are in the same learning process and sharing
ideas can help us to improve, and listening to other people may provide us with
the ability to understand our students better.
Kay, M. (2014). Psyhology
for Marketers. Retrieved november 6, 2017, from 12 ways to build
self-confidence:
http://psychologyformarketers.com/12-ways-to-build-self-confidence/
